Sometimes people who look like they shouldn't be a pair end up together, and maybe forever. It feels like love should be made up of so much more than just effort. Endless love should be an understanding about each other. And Love shouldn't be about finding someone 'alright enough' to start a family with. I guess we'll eventually settle down (and perhaps for less) when there's still no one at 30, just because we don't want to be lonely beings and we need to reproduce. But I'm just 20 anyway.

I live in a fairytale. I think many things should just come together in a click. I've seen my parents so happy together for so many years now, never seen them not working as a pair (besides the one-day, at most two, quarrels). Sure, they put in a lot (and I mean a lot, alot) of effort into making things work, but it never seems forced, or like they're putting in more effort than they should. They said things just worked out for them. I think they complement each other well. I told myself I'll never let myself have anything less than that.

The thought of devoting your life to someone when you could be better off growing old with someone else you MIGHT meet 5 years later bugs me. There is also no point in being with someone compatible with you on an 'okay' level, cause you might be so in love at that point and miss out something better. One day I know I'll be gravely mistaken, but for now, I'll still wait for some click that could never happen, at least to me.

Because I just can't stand the thought of binding yourself with someone you might have to fight too hard for and eventually lose just because you're really not meant for each other. I don't want to start something knowing you have your differences anyway, then fight hard for a long period and realise that the difference is something you both cannot mend afterall. And when the kids come, you have no choice but to hold on even though you don't love each other much. It's so painful to watch two people fighting over differences that are ingrained in them. Why hold on when you're not meant for each other? Pure connection doesn't come simply by letting (or making) yourselves trust each other, trust is about understanding each other on SO many levels that can't be explained.

It's also painful to watch someone loving a girl who loves herself more than him. The "would you rather love or be loved" question. I think there should never be an imbalance. I don't think I'd want to agree to a bond where I know he'll always love me more. The reality is that there's an imbalance most of the time, I'm just saying it's not ideal.

I know we can't change someone. There must be someone, just being himself, worth settling for, who thinks we are worth settling for. There must be the right person we'll find at the right time, and we'll hold onto each other forever.

I'll probably realise how extremely naive this one day.